World Peace Achieved

Washington – President Bush along with the entire congress has declared victory over terrorism, poverty, all human illnesses, world hunger, budget deficits, discomfort, pain, suffering, and human conflict in general. He then popped off the stopper on a test tube and breathed in deeply saying, “This genetically engendered airborne AIDS virus will solve all your problems.” He was then heard to mutter under his breath, “And they said I wouldn’t leave a lasting legacy.”

Inspiration: See comment.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seneca_the_Younger

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/09/17/magazine/17satire.html?ei=5090&en=dd095911c7d625b3&ex=1316145600&partner=rssuserland&emc=rss&pagewanted=print

Bush: Wrongfully Incarcerated Should Get Same Benefits As Vets

Washington - President George Bush announced at a press conference today that all those that have been falsely imprisoned by the judicial system should receive compensation and benefits equivalent to service in the armed forces, if his proposed legislation becomes law.

“I propose that those that are wrongfully incarcerated for a crime that they did not commit receive the same benefits and services that veterans of the armed forces receive," Bush said.

"Additionally, they should receive the same amount of pay that a Private receives in the Army for the amount of time that they served. My rationale is that both military personnel and the wrongfully incarcerated sacrifice their lives or a part of their lives for the safety and security of the nation. No one can expect that all convictions in the US justice system are to be error free, and those innocent people in prison (and the small chance that we may one day be one of those people) is the ‘price that we pay’ for a justice system that removes the criminals from society. This parallels with the inevitability of having a military with people who risk their lives and sacrifice their freedoms to protect ordinary citizens.

“Likewise, the loved ones of those that have died while wrongfully imprisoned should receive the same compensation as those that have given their lives in service to their country.

Bush added: “Perhaps if wrongful convictions start costing the taxpayers too much money, politicians would find ways to reduce the margin of error. A cost benefit analysis might show that giving the justice system adequate resources and oversight might be cheaper than adding more exonerated people to the government dole.”

Inspiration: http://www.plastic.com/article.html;sid=02/04/13/1520202
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/09/17/AR2006091700259.html

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/smith/etc/synopsis.html