Unseated Pluto Will Form Own Party

The shocking results from the International Astronomical Union primaries have unseated Pluto from the Planetary Party. But Pluto has rejected his demotion to Dwarf Planet status by the caucus and circulated petitions to form the Super-Duper Planet Party.

Pluto, a 76-year incumbent of the Planet Party sees his new status as derisive. “It is clear that the IAU has formed this new distinction to belittle the office I’ve held for so long,” said Pluto. “They somehow believe that that these new spoiler candidates, Xena and Sedna among others, will diminish the status of the party and so have conspired to unseat me.”

Mars ambassador John Bolton defended the action stating that the field has become far too large and unwieldy. “It’s as if everyone wants to be recognized as a planet nowadays. Besides the “princess warrior” we’ve got Santa and the Easterbunny and even Chaos itself making claims. We had to draw the line somewhere.”

Pluto has long been a “swing planet” within the parties and always willing to “cross the asteroid belt” in order to build consensus between the Gas Giants and Terrestrial Planet factions. It was widely seen that Pluto’s facilitation of Mars’ war-like actions has let to his downfall.

Inspiration: http://www.metafilter.com/mefi/54197#1412862
http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2006/8/24/102112/777